Frustrating Fruit Follies

Buying fruit at the grocery store causes me major annoyance. Chief among these is the purchase of bananas and peaches. Whenever I try to buy bananas they only have two kinds to choose from, really yellow or really green. You don't want either. If you buy really yellow bananas they are already ripe and like me, if you eat one per day, by the time the fifth or six day comes, the remaining bananas are past ripe and mushy. Then your only resort is to make banana bread and who wants to do that? If you buy really green bananas you have to wait a few days for them to ripen. Ideally you should buy a bunch that is mostly yellow, with only a hint of green, indicating that they are ripe and will stay ripe for the remainder of the week.

Peaches are my favorite fruit. Which made the discovery that they are seasonal quite unpalatable (pun intended). Around these parts you can only buy peaches in the store between May and October. I haven't seen them in any store any other time. If the planet we live on is a sphere (it is) and consists of two hemispheres (it does), one of which has its warm season when the other has its cold season, then we should be able to import peaches from wherever they grow around the world! We can put a man on the moon (12 men, actually) but we can't have peaches year-round?! What's wrong with the world?

Vocabulary Lesson #3

murf (v.) - to vomit. "I was feeling sick, but after I murfed I felt much better." Sounds a lot nicer than 'vomit,' doesn't it?

Tired of Credit Card Applications?

Tired of getting annoying credit card applications in the mail? Save some trees and your sanity by calling the opt-out number at 1-888-567-8688. By calling this number you can opt-out of getting credit card applications for five years. If for some reason you change your mind, you can call the same number to opt-in.

Weird/Interesting Dream

I have some pretty strange dreams once in a while. I think I may start documenting them for my own amusement. Once in a while I have a dream that seems like it could be the plot of a movie. Except that I always wake up before the movie's conclusion, so I never know what happened. Can I get a refund?

So anyway, the other night I dreamt that I had to defend my neighborhood from a roving band of ravenous alligators and my only weapon was a can of mace. For some reason I could only use mace, I couldn't use a baseball bat or, I don't know... a gun?! And I had to make sure that I maced the gators right in the eye, otherwise they wouldn't be affected. So I had to get real close to the gator before I could mace it! Sounds safe to me. I guess this is what makes dreams so weird. And of course, I woke up before I found out what happened. Maybe it's better that way because I probably was going to end up losing a hand. Chomp.

Panera Bread Update!

Woo-hoo! It cometh.

Panera Bread, get in my belly!

One of the things I miss about living in Maryland is having a Panera Bread close by. Can you believe we don't have these in Austin? Despite Austin's alleged "aversion" to chain restaurants, real or imaginary, P.B. is a very Austin-y place. A chain of bakery-cafes offering tasty sandwiches, fresh baked bread, soups, iced green tea, and Wi-Fi! So bring your laptop and surf the net while trying not to spill hot soup on your keyboard.

The reason I bring this up is that I have been making several business trips to Cedar Rapids, Iowa over the past few months. There is a Panera Bread within walking distance of my hotel, so I have been making several trips there during the week for dinner. It's definitely making me want to make a pitch for Panera Bread to expand to Austin. Who do I need to talk to to make it happen? Somebody let me know.